Major Life Update

Freiburg, 11 November 2023

Hi dears, 

Selamat hari pahlawan, maaf telat sehari.

I know I haven't been writing for some time. Actually, I have written some stuff, but I almost always ended up deciding not to post things, just because things can get really personal in my posts. I also have this obsession that my posts should follow a chronological order, but unfortunately, this was not supported by a sufficient commitment to write about events as they happen. Now, boredom and too much free time before starting my PhD on Wednesday (15/11) have spurred me to write again. 

Well, I finished my Masters study in Uppsala at the end of August 2023, and a couple of months before, I have decided to take up Uli's (my LMU thesis supervisor) offer for a PhD position in Freiburg. Little did I know about how things will unravel in the next couple of months... I have a feeling that if I knew, I would not end up where I am right now. 

Saying goodbye to my friends in Uppsala was difficult, yet I know I will meet them again someday. Therefore, I left some of my stuff there just to give myself a reason to come back. They helped me haul leftover furniture that I could not sell in time. On the 23rd of November, I had to present my thesis in my last MEME summer school, and on Friday, the 25th, I had to empty my room in time for my flight the next day. 

I really could not get things done without them. Even with how hectic everything was for me, they still managed to throw me a farewell party. How lucky I was to be surrounded by these people whom I have the honor to call friends. 

There was really no time for me to prepare myself mentally about coming back home, because of how fast things happened during that last week. I did not even arrange meet-ups with friends or family. The next thing I know, I landed back to my home country. 

Now, being back home was emotional. But really, the first couple of weeks of being home was spent finishing up my thesis. Then, I finally can let go with relief and truly enjoy my time with my family again. I met up with friends, see Barasuara x Efek Rumah Kaca in Pestapora, which happened again after 8 years! I don't think I can emphasize enough how important it was for me, only because I watched the collab on youtube over and over again as a pick-me-up during my thesis. Other than that, I also saw NIKI live with Bulan and it was just amazing! I am honored to take her to her first concert, it was a huge thing for an 18 year-old. 

What made me the happiest though, was meeting Bintang again after 3 years! That short week, when he was in Indonesia, was the happiest I have ever felt during the short time of being back home. It was sweet and happy, although busy and overwhelming. During that short week, we managed to spend time together, while also trying to plan a wedding. 

Can you believe it, a wedding!? Looking back, I often wonder if I would still choose to do my PhD, if I had known that we would decide to get married soon after. Separating again soon after your own wedding seems to be exactly the reason why you would not get married just after embarking a doctoral study. The logical order would be: get married - doctoral study - be together during doctoral study - happily ever after. But life is not perfect, and the part of me who follows rules and craves family approvals, would not choose a life together with Bintang before being married. I know, so traditional, but here I am, a traditional girl. 

More soon!! 

Love, 

Rifa

P.S. I know I am posting this in 2025, but I had saved the draft in 2023. Classic me.