Not always perfectly happy

I don't want forever. Forever is an awful lot of time. Especially a 'happily ever after'. Trust me, it wouldn't be as great as it sounds.

I'm just asking for a brief time to spend doing almost everything that we can do together. When I said everything, I meant everything.

I want to fall in love with you. Spend hours talking to you on the phone, then have a fight with the next day about where to go on a date. I want to be able to say my opinion and listen to yours and have you complimenting me and argumenting me so that I can evolve in my way of thinking. I want you to lead me to ideas that I can never have with anyone else. I want to have my mind opened because of you.

In our brief time together in life, I want to see the beautiful hills on the borders of Switzerland with you. I want us to get lost to a place that nobody else know about, it'll be our little secret Eden. Travelling around Asia and be a little broke together with you. Spending the little money we had to watch a Banda Neira concert with you. Stay in a little hotel room in the countryside in Kalimantan with you smoking outside the window and me writing on my laptop, blogging about the journey we had. I want cry with you when one of our relatives die or when our baby is born. I want to argue with you about where we would live to raise the baby. When you would insist on living in the city, I would cry and plead for a nice little house in the countryside. We would visit your parents and get a little scolded together for building a house we can't afford. I want to wake up and let you sleep a little more while I wake the kids up and take charge of the breakfast. We would all go to the city to watch a movie together and buy lots of books for our children to read. We would take our grown kids to watch the concerts we like to watch a long time ago when they don't even exist. I want to take our family hiking on mountains all across the Indonesia. We would let our children grow independently and clench our fists and teeth when they make wrong choices and hold them and tell them what to do when they fall, then we would watch proudly as they stand back up again and make something out of their pain.

A life with you doesn't have to be a happily ever after, it just needs to be real, as long as we are together. I'm just a dreamer, but at least, I'm asking for something real between a not always perfectly happy life companion.

I don't know who you are, but you would be someone I will always miss whenever you're not around. You would be someone I can talk to honestly without any shame in who I am. I would smile or laugh at the honesty of your opinions, and sometimes we would argue about who's right or wrong or about how I always think I'm right. I would have tons of respect for you and your personality, even for your flaws. In exchange you would not be ashamed to have someone like me by his side, but rather you would be proud of me and my flaws. Our relationship doesn't have to be perfect, there's no such thing as that, it only exists in movies. However, I hope that we would stick by each other's side in whatever condition we're in, and we would be able to look back past our relationship and see in the end the result of staying by each other's side all this time. And then we would say, "I'm glad I met you and I'm glad that we're still together right here right now."


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